Engaging and counselling the angry man
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Tim Harvey |
A man is convicted of tax evasion, claiming that he had to do it because his wife spent too much. The sentencing judge gives him a choice: "Do you want to go to prison or marriage counselling?" The guy asks, "Could I have a private cell?"
Some explanations for male resistance to therapy include:
- conditioning discourages men from seeking help (I can look after myself...)
- men feel at a disadvantage talking about emotions (I'll lose the argument...)
- men show their love by doing rather than talking
- men dread failure, particularly as providers, protectors, and lovers.
Tim will address these issues - if you counsel men, are a man, live or work with men, then this training will give you new insights into the reactions of men to counselling.
You will have greater confidence about dealing with male clients with calmness and understanding.
What You'll Learn: -
Men and Therapy
Men tend to approach counsellors in the same way they do lawyers, mechanics, and doctors - with specific problems for which they want specific advice. How to deal with this, given that such advice is rarely useful in a counselling situation?
The Mole and the Magpie
Learn why most men retreat further into their burrows (mole - fearing being overwhelmed),
while their partners ever more desperately try to connect (magpie - fearing abandonment).
Fear and Shame
Men who are reluctant to talk about feelings need to understand that their current way coping with their emotions - by withdrawing or attacking - stimulates their partner’s fear of isolation, harm, or deprivation. This takes the men further from the loving connection they need.
Core Values
What do men think about the meaning and purpose of their lives and their longing for connection? How do they deal with the shame of hurting those they are meant to protect?
Conflict Of Interest: None Disclosed
Financial Support: None Disclosed
Recorded at Lifeline in Sydney, Australia, in July 2009
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Tim Harvey
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Tim Harvey
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Tim Harvey has been a T/C, Face-to-Face and Couple counsellor, Trainer and Group Facilitator at Lifeline Northern Beaches for 20 years. He is a Clinical Member of CAPA and is registered by PACFA. He is an ACDC trained mediator. Tim has a private practice in Chatswood specialising in men's issues and relationships.
He runs men's and women's anger management groups, trains businesses and schools in EQ (emotional intelligence) and coaches business leaders in effective communication.
He has lived on three continents, had two marriages, and is a father, stepfather and grandfather. His own experience makes him well aware that these issues disrupt lives and cause needless unhappiness.
For more informations about Tim Harvey, please go to www.timharvey.com.au
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